


erase all the pain ‘til it’s gone

by EquusGirl (EquusGirl0621)



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Blood, Cutting, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Gen, Hoth Era, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I Wrote This While Listening to Linkin Park’s Music, Pre-Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma, hello it’s emo hours up in this bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:40:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23011882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EquusGirl0621/pseuds/EquusGirl
Summary: Leia’s mind has always been noisy but these days it’s just downright deafening. So she seeks a moment of peace and quiet the only way she knows how.
Kudos: 6





	erase all the pain ‘til it’s gone

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, mind the tags. And please, please reach out to someone if you need to.

Leia pulls the blade across her skin, watches the blood bead and pool before running down her leg. The pain clears her mind and fills her lungs with air. She can breathe again. Her mind is blessedly quiet. No longer are the dark thoughts telling her to just end it all. Slit her wrists. Swallow a lullaby. Walk out an airlock. Whatever it takes to stop the pain. Whatever it takes to stop the phantom aches. Whatever it takes to stop the vivid memories. 

She pulls the blade across her skin again. And again. And again. And again until she’s finally numb. There are no intrusive thoughts. She’s not burning with hatred and anger. There’s nothing but quiet and blood and torn flesh. For a few moments there’s peace. Blessed peace. 

She watches the thin rivulets of blood stream across her skin, revels in the ability to take a true deep breath. It’s amazing how calming the sight is. Bright red blood against pale skin staining stark white fabric. It ought to scare her. Worry her at least. But she feels light. It’s beautiful. It’s freeing. 

She tells herself this is the last time. She pulls the blade across her skin one last time, lets herself feel the sting of the blade and the warmth of blood spilling over skin. Focuses on each individual sensation and savors the peace of the moment. She’s never at peace any more. 

She takes a deep breath and sets the blade aside. It’s time to pull herself back together—clean and dress her wounds. It’s time to go back to pretending she’s fine and not barely holding herself together with spacer tape.


End file.
